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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642996">You turn my life upside down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuMe89/pseuds/YuMe89'>YuMe89</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheating, F/M, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, M/M, Matter of Life and Death, Stiles feels just very guilty, Stiles is kind of a crybaby, but not really, derek hates himself, kissing to distract a threat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:00:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuMe89/pseuds/YuMe89</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>- </p>
<p>Some days Stiles thinks he really ought to stop and reevaluate all his of life choices and figure out how the hell he had ended up where he was now.<br/></p>
<p>Which was running away from Hunters, in the mids of DC's partying area. Derek was with him, of course he was, since he was the reason why they were running in the first place.<br/></p>
<p>That guy? Seriously, can't catch a fucking break.</p>
<p>"Dude, couldn't you be mister popular last week, preferably somewhere else? I had a freaking health evaluation yesterday, my legs are killing me. Please stop.", Stiles gasped, completely out of breath.<br/>-</p>
<p>Bad decisions, guilt and a happy ending.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! ^^<br/>I had this weird dream and woke up in the middle with this story stuck in my head.<br/>And I think it's a good idea to post it complete, since there's like zero benefit not to.</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
Some days Stiles thinks he really ought to stop and reevaluate all his of life choices and figure out how the hell he had ended up where he was now.<br/>
</p><p>Which was running away from Hunters, in the midst of DC's partying area. Derek was with him, of course he was, since he was the reason why they were running in the first place.<br/>
</p><p>That guy? Seriously, can't catch a fucking break.</p><p>"Dude, couldn't you be mister popular last week, preferably somewhere else? I had a freaking health evaluation yesterday, my legs are killing me. Please stop." Stiles gasped, completely out of breath.<br/>
</p><p>"Stiles, keep moving, they saw you with me. They'll kill you too," Derek growled, grabbing Stiles forearm and started dragging him along. "I will not tell your dad you died because of your lack of stamina."<br/>
</p><p>"Yeah, makes sense." Stiles breathed stertorously. The Sheriff would just start hunting Derek and in that case he could just stop alongside Stiles and let those Hunters get a shot in. He looked around, trying not to trip up and then ripped his arm out of Derek's grip, ducking into an alleyway.<br/>
</p><p>"Stiles!" Derek was furious and wanted to lung after him again. He stopped and frowned at Stiles, who pointed at the other side of the street.<br/>
</p><p>"Dude, look! There's a bar, we can just go in there and disappear." Stiles said, proud to have come up with a hiding spot. Most of the other bars were closed by now, but this one had still a more or less steady stream of patrons going in and out.<br/>
</p><p>"That's a gay bar." Derek stated, but followed Stiles into the alley to conceal himself.</p><p>"Yeah, I can read too, you know. We're two guys, perfect!" Stiles countered with a smirk, slowly catching his breath again. They were in the alley across from it, so they wouldn't stand on the street as an easy target.<br/>
</p><p>Derek was about to say something, but than he cocked his head to the side slightly, which will never not remind Stiles of a dog perking up to their owners call. It would've been cute, if they weren't currently running for their life. Again. "Too late, if we cross the street, they'll see us." he sighed.<br/>
</p><p>As Stiles looked around for a hiding spot, his eyes fell on Derek, who was apparently thinking about an escape too. The damn alley was a dead end and there weren't any good hiding spots at all. He watched Derek flicking his eyes from the bar to Stiles and then into the alley and his expression seemed like he was contemplating something. "I got an idea, don't freak out," Stiles heard him say and he couldn't even ask, before he was shoved against the dingy wall behind him, Derek rapidly closing the space between them. "Put your arms around my neck." he instructed.<br/>
</p><p>Still too stunned by the sudden proximity, Stiles didn't react fast enough for Derek's liking and was actually manhandled into position. There was one hand on his hips, the other on his cheek, while Stiles own arms were draped around Derek's neck. And this was how he ended up making out with Derek.<br/>
</p><p>And it was definitely making out, not just an innocent press of lips to create an illusion. If Stiles didn't know better, the way he was being kissed could be seen as a love declaration. Derek's right hand on Stiles face was efficiently concealing his face if someone looked at them, but he also caressed Stiles cheek with his thump in a really awesome way. It send shivers all across Stiles body, something the rasp of Derek's beard managed to do too everywhere it came into contact with Stiles face.<br/>
</p><p>He could hear two sets of footsteps slowing and coming to an halt. "Where are they?" one of them said. "Don't know. Just some fucking fags here." he heard the other one say. Then it sounded like they moved on again.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles had never been kissed by a guy before and he had never imagined it to be someone with a neatly trimmed beard before. Okay, that was a lie, but he had no clue how it would feel exactly. Now he wasn't sure he wanted to kiss someone without one ever again, specifically this one. And that thought would stay private in his head, he vouched.<br/>
</p><p>Giving as good as he got, Stiles bit on Derek's lower lip, after the werewolf was done sucking on his tongue. It drew a muffled groan out of him, but instead of more heated, the kiss got softer and then stopped. Stiles didn't remember closing his eyes, but now he was afraid to open them again. His shortness of breath got a whole different reason this time.<br/>
</p><p>"They're gone." Derek whispered still too close, when Stiles finally opened his eyes and looked at him. "Come on, I parked my car not that far from here."<br/>
</p><p>Not knowing what to say, Stiles just nodded and followed Derek in the direction they had come from. He was so fucked. How was he supposed to tell Lydia what had happened? Stiles didn't want to lie, but telling the truth would definitely ruin something good.<br/>
</p><p>A few blocks away from the alley, they found Derek's car and got in. They drove in silence towards Stiles dorms. "Once you're on campus, I'll drive up to New York. It's better to split up anyways. And I still need to sort out some things there."<br/>
</p><p>"Your old apartment? The one you shared with your sister?" Stiles asked, cautiously looking over to Derek, who didn't seem to even spare a glance towards him.<br/>
</p><p>"Yeah. Maybe I'll stay there for a bit. It's still mine." Derek replied and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.</p><p>"Masochist." Stiles commented and looked out the passenger side window. He heard Derek's agreeing huff and closed his eyes again, mustering up the courage to say something before they'd reach the dormities.<br/>
</p><p>They were almost there, when Stiles actually found the words he wanted to say. "Could we...not talk about what happened in the alley? I mean with other people. I don't think Lydia would be happy to hear about it."<br/>
</p><p>"Sure." Derek answered and to someone who wasn't acquainted with him at all, would think it was an easy agreement, but to Stiles he sounded hollow. He wasn't ready to think about it though.<br/>
</p><p>The werewolf put his black SUV in park and looked over, waiting for Stiles to get out of his car.</p><p>"When we meet up next time, we should try to keep the Hunter and Monster action to a minimum." Stiles said, mustering up a smile and causing Derek to good naturally roll his eyes at him. "I'm not saying you're doing it on purpose, okay, just that we should at least make the effort to avoid it more."<br/>
</p><p>"Whatever you say. Now get out of my car, Stiles, I still need to drive up to New York." Derek replied, eyebrows raised in waiting. He was almost back to his normal self, if Stiles stopped looking through the cracks of Derek's carefully placed mask.<br/>
</p><p>"Yeah, okay, nice talk. Drive safe!" Stiles said, as he got out and before he closed the car door, he heard Derek snort. Then he drove off like a maniac. So much for safe...<br/>
</p><p>When Stiles got to his dorm room he sat down on his bed and did what he had wanted to do right after it happened. He touched his still tingling lips and stared into space. No one had ever kissed him the way Derek just had and now he was freaking out and obsessing about it in equal parts. Was that how he kissed in general, because damn...<br/>
</p><p>Seeing where his mind wandered, he immediately stopped caressing his lips and started to get ready for bed. He had an early class in the morning and less than three hours to catch some sleep.<br/>
</p><p>His legs were killing him.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
It was almost two weeks later now. Stiles had been busy with his classes and coursework. Since he was generally not tangled in supernatural activity in George Washington University, he got much more time for his studies.<br/>
</p><p>So much time that he got bored with his books.<br/>
</p><p>He grabbed his phone and opened the chat he had with Derek. Or lack thereof. That godforsaken night, the Werewolf had send him:"<strong>Didn't die on the way just fyi.</strong>" with such a sassy undertone, Stiles had simply replied with:"<strong>Proud of you! Keep it up.</strong>"<br/>
</p><p>There hadn't been much since. As far as Stiles knew, Derek was still staying in New York, which left him with a strange feeling in his stomach. He wasn't as far away as Beacon Hills, he was within reach. And that scared Stiles a little, because he was still thinking about their kiss. How possessive Derek's hand on his hip and cheek had felt, but still managed to be gentle at the same time.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles was beating off so much, he felt like living a whole déjà vu from back when he was sixteen and jerking off any free minute of alone time he could get. It was beginning to be a problem, because he thought less and less of Lydia, who was still his girlfriend.<br/>
</p><p>They had scheduled a skype session for in a few minutes, sticking mostly to text messages otherwise, because Lydia was even more wrapped up in her studies than Stiles was. Much more significant ones probably too.<br/>
</p><p>He set up his laptop on his desk, sitting in front of it. Stiles was gnawing on his sleeve, waiting for Lydia to call, knowing it would be a moot point to be the one calling her. She mostly never picked up when he called, too busy with whatever she was doing at MIT.<br/>
</p><p>There was a loose threat between his teeth he continued to chew on when the tell-tale sound of an incoming call could be heard. Stiles stomach turned as he accepted it. Guild and shame washing over him, as he looked at Lydia. "Hey." he greeted her weakly. She looked good, not overworked or stressed.<br/>
</p><p>She was also dressed down and wearing one of his hoodies. Normally that would make him smile, now he just hated himself even more. He should've told her the same day it happened. "What's wrong?" she immediately asked, face showing pure concern. "Did something happen?"</p><p>Stiles opened his mouth, intending to say something, but there were no words. He had no clue where to start and what to say at all. It wasn't like he had cheated on her voluntarily, he had been kissed! And yeah, sure he had not stopped the kiss, but that was only because their life depended on not being spotted.<br/>
</p><p>But he was guilty for enjoying it and even more for thinking about it all the time since it happened.</p><p>A light sheen of tears made his sight swim before his eyes. "I have to tell you something," he finally said, watching as concern gave way for questioning. "Uh...Almost two weeks ago, Derek was here."<br/>
</p><p>Lydia frowned a bit. "I know, you told me you got chased by Hunters. However you managed that, I still don't know."</p><p>Stiles swallowed hard, he rubbed his hand over his mouth. "I didn't tell you everything though."</p><p>As he waited for some miracle to fill him with enough courage to actually say the words out loud, Lydia looked at him in silence. It didn't last long. "What is going on? Did you two piss off someone else? Was someone...killed? Are you in trouble?" she asked, leaning forward. "Talk to me, Stiles!"<br/>
</p><p>He bit his lip and looked away. "When we had to hide from them, we didn't squat behind a dumpster. There was-" he took a deep breath. "....there was a bar, but we couldn't cross the street without being noticed, so...Derek came up with the idea to...he..." he couldn't bring himself to say it and he felt the tears sliding down his cheeks and chin. "I didn't want to cheat on you, I'm sorry."</p><p>As he held the sob back and dried his tears on the sleeve of his shirt, he saw that Lydia was sitting completely stunned and silent. If it wasn't for her glistening eyes, one could think the connection was frozen. "It's eating me up inside not to tell you that he kissed me."</p><p>He heard a quiet sniffle from her. "Then why didn't you tell me right away?" she wanted to know, her voice faltering. Stiles didn't answer her, still feeling ashamed and guilty to the point it made him numb. "Stiles," she tried to get his attention. "Why didn't you say anything?"</p><p>A fresh wave of tears made their appearance. "I don't know." Stiles lied, he knew he lied the second he said those words out loud and swallowed. His voice was hushed.</p><p>"You liked it," Lydia concluded then. She looked hurt and betrayed. "You liked it so much that you're barely able to look at me now."<br/>
</p><p>"I love you, I do! I don't know why this changed anything at all. It was just a stupid kiss." Stiles hissed, angry with himself. He hid his face in both of his hands.<br/>
</p><p>"Did it?" he heard Lydia say. "Change anything between us, I mean." she clarified, vocal chords still making her voice waver. He had hurt her badly, Stiles knew. It had taken so long for her to stop being such an ice queen, that her new demeanor was hurting him, knowing it was his fault she didn't even have a wall up anymore.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles let out a heavy breath. "It changed the way I think about him and that's not fair to you." he admitted and watched her bite her lip to hide the way it trembled.<br/>
</p><p>"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked, cut straight to the core like usual, but her tears betrayed her. As vicious as she could be, she was still a human being with feelings. And Stiles knew that she loved him, what made this extra unfair.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles closed his eyes in defeat. That's the thing he just couldn't decide. After all these years chasing her and finally, finally becoming her boyfriend, he had been so happy. But now...<br/>
</p><p>All that was left was confusion. Stiles knew he had always been a bit bi-curious, okay a lot, but he had never hooked up with a guy. And now, Derek had ruined his whole world view with just one kiss. How was that even possible?<br/>
</p><p>"Do you <em>want</em> me to break up with you?" he asked in return, unable to look at Lydia. The hollow feeling in his chest expanded. He had thought he would marry Lydia and have kids with her one day. Both with successful careers. A house maybe and a dog, because <em>why not?</em><br/>
</p><p>It took Lydia a while to answer, but when she did, it still floored Stiles, even though he had kind of known it would happen. "I think it might be better, don't you?" she said, the saddest smile blessing her lips.<br/>
</p><p>They just watched each other for a moment, it was heartbreaking, Stiles knew he wouldn't be useful the next few days in any way.</p><p>"At least you're not my first boyfriend that turned out to be gay." Lydia noted, probably an attempt at a joke. It made Stiles scoff.</p><p>"I'm not gay. I think I'm bi if anything." he replied. "You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I'm attracted to you and I do love you."</p><p>These words made Lydia's chin quiver. She looked sad again. "But now it applies to Derek Hale too." she pointed out. "Though he's not a woman."<br/>
</p><p>"Obviously not." Stiles replied with a sigh, looking away from the screen in front of him.</p><p>"But you think he's the most beautiful man, right?" she asked him. His answer was bound to hurt her, and he knew she asked this on purpose.</p><p>"Have you seen that man?" he countered with a raised brow. "He's like any fantasy anyone ever had, wrapped into one. Beautiful isn't a strong enough word." As soon as the words left his mouth, he was sure he had gone too far. Damn his non-existent brain to mouth filter!<br/>
</p><p>There was this sad smile still. "And that right there is the reason we shouldn't be together anymore," Lydia said. "I do love you too, but I also love myself enough to stop while we're still able to look each other in the eyes. I don't want to resent you."<br/>
</p><p>"This conversation didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Stiles replied, the cuff of his shirt was now between his teeth again. "We're still friends, right? I feel stupid for asking, but..."</p><p>"Yes," Lydia simply said. "But I don't want to hear about you two. Not for a while at least."</p><p>Stiles could see his own sad expression in the corner. "That's fair, I guess." he mumbled. "Not that there will be anything to tell either way."</p><p>"Is he still in New York?" Lydia asked suddenly and Stiles furrowed his brows in confusion.</p><p>"Yeah, I think so. Why?" he wanted to know. He didn't get what Lydia wanted to tell him at all with this question.</p><p>"You're an idiot. You'll know once you get why he's there." she responded with a condescending smile. Then she ended the call before he could answer. His phone vibrated with a text from her.<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sorry for ending the call so abruptly. Please don't contact me unless it's a life or death situation. Love you x</strong>
</p><p>Stiles blinked rapidly as he realized why she had stopped it like that. <strong>It's okay. I promise. Love you too x</strong></p><p>Would this have happened either way? Or could he have prevented the outcome, if he had come clean right away?</p><p>Probably not, but the thought helped him to fall asleep nonetheless.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
The next day had been devastating, as the reality set in, that he was now single. The love of his life wasn't his girlfriend anymore. But, was she the love of his life or had he obsessed over her for too long? And even though they had been friends for a while before they started dating, he knew he never stopped putting her on a pedestal occasionally.<br/>
</p><p>It took Stiles another week to even bring himself to contact Derek. It turned out he was still in New York. Was he living in his old apartment with the reminder of Laura everywhere? That thought just hurt. He knew how it had felt every time he saw something from his mom back home.<br/>
</p><p>It made him sad how utterly alone Derek had to feel. There was no one who actually and legitimately cared about him. Cora had fucked off to god knows where and since Derek had gotten his phone after Stiles had found him as he had been attending his internship, he knew they hadn't stayed in touch, not really. And Peter...yeah, just no. A world of <strong>No</strong>. That guy only cared about himself and on a good day he might even help to not let someone else die. If he felt like it.<br/>
</p><p>Also, Stiles knew Derek hated his uncle a reasonable amount, which was a lot.</p><p>Before he could talk himself out of it the way he had the last couple days, he dialed Derek's number and listened to it ring. It didn't take long for Derek to pick up. "<em>Stiles?</em>" he could hear the puzzled tone and knew exactly what face the Werewolf was sporting at the moment.<br/>
</p><p>Maybe it was too strange for him to call him? But what was he supposed to do, not say anything at all? He didn't answer, just tried to even his breathing out. "<em>Stiles, are you okay?</em>" now he was just concerned.<br/>
</p><p>"Not really," Stiles said. "No death threat though." he could hear the relieved puff of air on the other end rushing over the mic. "I talked to Lydia." he then went on, waiting for any kind of reaction.<br/>
</p><p>"<em>I hope so, she's your girlfriend.</em>" Derek said with a scoff. An attempt to joke.</p><p>"Not anymore," he replied with a heavy sigh. It still brought tears to his eyes to even think about it. "We kind of...broke up."</p><p>"<em>Kind of?</em>" Derek asked and okay, his phrasing was not really good. "<em>How does that work?</em>"</p><p>Stiles swallowed thickly. "It was mutual. We still love each other, but we both think it's better if we go separate ways."</p><p>"<em>Okay,</em>" he heard Derek say softly. "<em>Is that why you called?</em>" the werewolf asked.</p><p>"Partly," Stiles admitted. "But I told Lydia what really happened." he said, staring down at his crossed legs. "You know....in the alley." Stiles specified, so Derek couldn't get the wrong idea.</p><p>"<em>Is that why you two broke up? Did she think you cheated on her?</em>" Derek asked incredulous. "<em>Does she know that we didn't exactly had that many options?</em>"</p><p>Stiles bit his lip and closed his eyes. "No, she didn't think I cheated." he answered. "But I thought so." he confessed. The tips of his fingers were brushing over his lips now in an absent minded way.<br/>
</p><p>"<em>Stiles.</em>" there was a definite warning in Derek's voice.</p><p>"I felt so guilty about it." Stiles said then, voice barely a whisper. He knew Derek could hear him though. "Why did you kiss me like that, Derek?" he asked, but there was no answer. "You ruined me," his breath hitched and he knew he started to cry. "You ruined me for anyone else."<br/>
</p><p>It was like Derek let him cry, like he knew he wouldn't really listen if he said anything now and so he just sat there on his bed, pressing the phone to his ear with one hand, the other placed over his eyes.<br/>
</p><p>After a while he got himself back under control.</p><p>"<em>I'm sorry.</em>" he heard Derek say, voice sincere. Like he legitimately felt sorry for what he did. Like he knew exactly what he had done in the first place. Did he do it on purpose or did he think Stiles would walk away from it unscathed?<br/>
</p><p>"I can't stop thinking about you." he just said. There was no point in holding anything back now. If Derek didn't get the memo that Stiles was pretty hung up on him by now, he would've had to be deaf.<br/>
</p><p>"<em>Stiles,</em>" another warning. "<em>You don't want me.</em>" Derek stated matter of fact.</p><p>"You can't tell me what I do or don't want." Stiles responded, eyebrows knitted together. He felt slightly petulant as he said this.</p><p>"<em>I ruin everything I touch,</em>" he heard Derek say. "<em>Case in point: you and your relationship with Lydia.</em>"</p><p>He stretched his legs out and picked on the thin cotton of his sweatpants around the knee. "You didn't do that on purpose." Stiles replied.</p><p>"<em>Maybe I did.</em>" Derek surprised him. "<em>Maybe I wanted to kiss you before we got into that situation and took the opportunity.</em>" he went on. "<em>Maybe the only thing I didn't want was ruin your relationship, even though a small, selfish part of me did.</em>"</p><p>"You're not an evil mastermind, Derek." he huffed, offended Derek would think he would actually believe that for a second. "You're smart and a smug asshole, but not evil."</p><p>"<em>I'm not worth the effort, Stiles.</em>" the Werewolf said softly. "<em>Once someone get's close to me they're done for. I don't want you to get hurt.</em>"</p><p>"Kinda too late for that now." Stiles mumbled. "Why are you still in New York then?" he asked then, the suspicion he had that bloomed once he recalled his conversation with Lydia was, that he stayed near, because he couldn't bring himself to leave across the country again.<br/>
</p><p>"<em>I needed to figure a lot of things out. Arrange the rest of my belongings to get shipped.</em>" Derek deflected.</p><p>"Derek, if I asked you to come here again, would you?" Stiles tried this time, hand buried in his hair now. It was quiet on the other side, too quiet for too long. "Please come here." he beckoned softly. He could hear Derek breathe in and out softly.<br/>
</p><p>Then the line went dead.</p><p>Stiles closed his eyes, tossed his phone to the side and pulled on his hair in frustration. "Shit."</p><p>Absolute radio silence for three days was not what Stiles had expected, but it was his new reality. He concentrated on his essays and his reading as good as possible until his phone chimed with a text.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles sighed, positive that it would be from his dad or Scott, although it was pretty late now for them to contact him.</p><p>
  <strong>Open your window.</strong>
</p><p>He read the text message a few times over to make sense of it. It was new and definitely from Derek, there was no mistaking it. As he turned in his chair, looking at his window he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Somehow he had expected to see Derek hanging upside down or something.<br/>
</p><p>Taking the five steps necessary to go over and open it he looked out and saw the Werewolf standing a good distance away between the trees. Stiles dorm room was on the third floor and the walls didn't prevent anything to hold onto.<br/>
</p><p>Just as Stiles was about to text him a question how he thought to get up here, he saw Derek taking a running start and he was <em>fast!</em> Stiles quickly backed away and hoped he wouldn't be in the way, when suddenly there was a thud near the windowsill and he watched Derek heave himself up effortlessly, a graceful roll later and he was standing against the window from inside.<br/>
</p><p>"You're ridiculous." was the first thing outside of Stiles mouth, because he was too stunned to come up with anything else. "We got doors here, too, you know."<br/>
</p><p>"It's late and I didn't feel like talking to whoever was manning the entrance." Derek shrugged, wearing a leather jacket Stiles had never seen before. He reminded him so much of the old Derek right now, creeping through windows, wearing leather, it was so strange.<br/>
</p><p>A thought struck Stiles. "I will never feel safe again. Ever." he said out loud, knowing that more Werewolves and probably other nocturnal creatures would be able to just jump into someone's house through the window. It was a fucking scary thought to be honest.<br/>
</p><p>Derek pushed his hands in either side of his jacket pocket and just stood there, waiting for whatever Stiles wanted him here for. The problem was, Stiles had no clue, since Derek hadn't talked to him up until now. He had been sure the Werewolf wouldn't want to come near him again.<br/>
</p><p>"I didn't think you'd come." Stiles admitted then, watching Derek turn his head away as if he was casually looking around the room, but probably just avoiding his gaze.<br/>
</p><p>A shrug. "I didn't want to come." Derek replied honestly and turned his gaze back to Stiles, who walked up the few steps towards him. The Werewolves posture didn't change, not even when Stiles took hold of Derek's jacket lapels in a tight grip. They just stared each other in the eyes.<br/>
</p><p>The way Derek looked at him was different, but Stiles couldn't put his finger on it in what way.</p><p>So he broke their eye contact by pulling Derek forward and simultaneously burying his head in  Derek's chest. His forehead was resting near Derek's collarbone, nose brushing against the v neck of the shirt he was wearing underneath it.<br/>
</p><p>Laundry detergent, leather, clean sweat and the barest hint of deodorant. Right now, it was the most calming scent Stiles had ever smelled. "You made a mess of us." Stiles whispered, knowing how accusing he sounded, but he was right, he knew.<br/>
</p><p>Derek's hands remained in his jacket pockets and the leather creaked under Stiles grip when he tightened in frustration. "Sorry." he could feel the vibrations of Derek's voice. At least he sounded sincere.<br/>
</p><p>There was the familiar hot pricking behind his eyelids, but he held them closed, not wanting to cry again. "I wish I could hate you." Stiles said, rubbing his head the slightest bit from side to side. Then there was a hand on his neck, stroking his skin and the hair in his nape softly.<br/>
</p><p>Derek must have smelled his emotional distress. "I know." he replied, voice still steady, but careful. Stiles let go of the lapels and sneaked both of his arms around Derek's middle in a tight embrace. "I wish you would." Derek said before his other hand found its place on Stiles back, his nose took a dive in the messy unstyled hair.<br/>
</p><p>Ending his former slumped position and straightening carefully up to be almost on eye level with Derek, it brought them even closer. "But I don't and I know I could never hate you." Stiles told him. "Because I want to be with you. My life has always been on the line for something or other. If it means I can have you, I will gladly take the risk."<br/>
</p><p>"You're an idiot for doing that." Derek reprimanded him, nuzzling his jaw and kissing the spot right under Stiles ear. It made him sigh.</p><p>"I know you'll probably protect me anyways." Stiles breathed, feeling his toes curl as Derek nipped on the spot.</p><p>He could feel Derek smile against his skin. "Probably." he replied teasingly.</p><p>Stiles had to rein his laughter in, although it was a hard task at hand. "Will <em>probably </em>be our <em>always</em>?"</p><p>There was no way Derek wasn't rolling his eyes at this point, as he stopped hiding his face in Stiles neck, he looked at him with absolute disappointment. "I will punch you in the face." he declared in all seriousness, but instead of feeling threatened it caused Stiles to laugh out loud.<br/>
</p><p>"I'd rather have you kiss me again." Stiles said with a mischievous smile. He looked on as Derek's face turned contemplating with the slight inclined head motion he always did while thinking.<br/>
</p><p>Stiles didn't get a verbal answer, but the physical one was just as much of a declaration as their first kiss had been. Stiles knew he should feel ashamed for how in love he was with Derek, when he had just separated from Lydia, but he couldn't bring himself to care about it anymore. He wasn't cheating on her and Derek was exactly what had been absent before.<br/>
</p><p>Sometimes the one thing you wanted and got, is not what you might think you need. It's the one crashing into your life without so much as a warning and rearranging it until it's upside down.<br/>
</p><p>Which is okay, because in some cases, that sets it right for the first time.</p><p><br/>
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